Afraid to Dance

Last night I went to see the Mamaku Project play in the Central City. Sitting in the erected marquee "tent", I was spellbound by the smooth, exotic, tribal, and downright lusty sound of the brilliant female singer and the musicians that accompanied her. An unusual but harmonious and perfect grouping of brass instruments, various percussion, and one very mischievious accordion!
Not usually shy when it comes to a boogie, I was surprised to find myself reluctant to get up and dance...

The marquee had been set up for "seated" viewing. Banquettes rimmed the outside walls and in the center circle, right in front of the stage, the entire wooden dance floor was covered over by table and chairs. Sitting, sipping sauvignon, and simply watching the soulful music was clearly expected. However, the music presented a real problem as it powerfully compelled you to MOVE YOUR BODY!

Yet, as I sat in my seat tapping my feet, moving my legs, and swinging my shoulders, some part of me felt embarrassed to have such a primal response to the sound. Near the end of the set, when body finally beat out mind, I went up to the front of the room and joined the group of renegade dancers. I wished I had been brave enough to be there all night.

Why was I so embarrassed at showing a clear, physical, and passionate response to the music? I looked around at all the people sitting and watching the vibrant display and wondered if they were feeling the same internal struggle...And where does it come from--this strong and frequent restraint of our basic body "being-ness"? Why did I want to curb or hide this desire to move that emerged from a deep, instinctive, and ancient place inside?

I made an internal resolution to never again, when music and sound compels, pass up on the opportunity to dance. To be proud to move my body to the same beat of the earth, the stars, the heart.

Reread a line from Mary Oliver before bed...."You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves..."

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Mary Oliver

Like water to a duck?

Recently one of my students commented that Kiwis survive winter in Christchurch because of a healthy amount of hardy stoicism. A few hours later, I was sitting at YaYa with a fellow US expat who groaned as she exclaimed, "I wish I were a duck". Hmmmm...there IS a connection here!

During the past week of unrelenting rain and frigid temperatures, my friend had envied the ability of Christchurch bird life to frolic, eat, swim, and go about their daily business while seemingly unfazed by the heavy weather. There's a famous phrase I'm recalling..."Like water off a duck's back"? That night I looked up the definition of stoicism, finding "indifference to pleasure and pain". Reading that I wondered... does being "stoic" imply an inability to experience the difference between the two or that a choice is made to view both from the same/equal perspective? Perhaps two sides of the same coin?

Sensing positive material here, the Sanskrit word MAITRI floated out of my mental yoga glossary. Often translated as "friendliness", Pema Chodron (an American Buddhist nun and one of my favorite spiritual writers) describes MAITRI as, "complete acceptance of ourselves [and the environment around us]...a simple direct relationship with the way things actually are." The cultivation of MAITRI or friendliness is key staying present to where we actually are, in each particular moment.

Our culture has a very low tolerance for discomfort. We turn on, switch off, and tune out with any number of technological aids to avoid pain, cold, boredom, vulnerability, and loneliness. On the yoga mat, practicing MAITRI involves learning how to stay with physical sensation and stay within the free movement of breath as we skillfully play our edge. We have the option to blast past our capacity, shrink from possibility, OR explore the area where our past experience meets a new horizon. When we cultivate an attitude of "friendliness" toward our body, our thoughts, and our environment, nothing that emerges is the enemy. We practice remaining open and receptive to whatever the moment brings.

Pema writes that the practice of MAITRI is "coming back to the immediacy of experience...By simply STAYING, we relax more and more into the open dimension of our being." Off our yoga mat, we practice "staying" when we can remain open and soft at our center even while the world around is shifting and changing--workplace chaos, screaming children, difficult relationships, and yes--even the enduring rain and bone chilling cold of July in Christchurch.

While the water may not so easily "run off our backs", we CAN practice accessing the same quality of acceptance, receptivity, AND endurance of the moment as our friendly local ducks. No matter what the weather or life throws at us!

Here comes the Sun!

After our weeklong bout of dreary, drippy and dismal weather, it is no surprise that the theme of my classes this week is INSPIRATION. As the sun begins to peek its way back into the sky, I find that my spirits and energy are magically renewed!

As an editor in a former life, I am captivated by words. Words are ripe with meaning and carry a special sort of energy, called matrika shakti in yoga. Language lends us beautiful, rich texture by which to make sense of experience.

The word INSPIRATION comes from the Latin root "spirare" which means "to breathe". "Spirare" is also the source of our English word SPIRIT. "IN-spirare" means "to breathe IN" or to "infuse by breathing". Therefore, "Inspire" is another word for "inhale", "inspiration" for "inhalation". Every time we draw breath, we "inspire" our physical form. What happens when you inhale fully? I notice my heart lifts, my shoulders roll back, my spine lengthens. My inner body is bright.

"Inspiration" is also an experience or state of being. Please PAUSE and think of something or someone that is inspiring your life right now. How does this thing or person make you feel on the inside? What happens when you see a beautiful, resplendent sunrise? Or watch someone close to you succeed in school, work, sports? What happens to YOUR body in the presence of or remembrance of inspiration...? Heart lifts, shoulders open, spine lengthens, inner body bright!

At a recent training with John Friend, he described the body as an instrument, like a flute. Each asana, each posture or form that we take, is another way to place the fingers, another way to direct the sound. Every posture makes music but each has its own particular note.

On our mats, we "inspire" the body with breath and, as our external form shifts and changes, this "inspiration" infuses each posture and the inner body with lift and life. When we sit to begin our practice, we can pause and remember all the things, people, and moments in our life that inspire us and lift our hearts. We all have dark days but even when the skies are gray, we can REMEMBER that the sun will eventually shine again.

[Please click on comments below to find links about my favorite posture of INSPIRATION, Vasisthasana!]

Warm winter yoga

We are holding two yoga nights at YaYa House of Tea this month--July 15th & July 29th. Yoga begins at 5:30pm and we follow the practice with warm cups of YaYa's homemade chai and fresh chapati breads. The night is the perfect winter soother and a lovely way to start the week!

What I've grown to love about these evenings is the strong sense of community that emerges. In the afterglow of yoga and in the cozy ambiance of the teahouse, I have met many wonderful people and have so enjoyed the great conversations taking place between local Christchurch people who have just met. Though we often come from different age groups and backgrounds, we practice together, we talk together and then often, at another class or on the street, we will meet again. Connection is made and remembered. In Anusara Yoga, a strong emphasis is placed on the gathering and sustaining of kula--a Sanskrit word meaning "the community of the heart".

Though the weather continues to grow colder, the monthly gatherings at YaYa and our regular weekly classes continue to warm my soul! I love being part of the beautiful kula growing in Christchurch. So well stated by the wonderful Sufi poet Rumi:

"There IS a community of the spirit. Join it, and feel the delight of walking in the noisy street and BEING the noise..."